Saturday, 30 May 2009

Heikki's getting a makeover

For those of you who don't know, my 335i is officially named Heikki. Of course, shortly after baby Heikki was leased, the real Heikki Kovalainen had to jump ship from BMW Sauber's F1 team to being the ugly step-sister to Lewis Hamilton over at McLaren. All hard feelings aside, Heikki has been in the family for about 7 months now and his momma is starting to get restless with his "stockness". After being surrounded by modded BMW's today, I'm hot and heavy for a new exaust system with some sick down pipe action. That will be shortly followed by some Euro tail lights and some rear spoiler love (just a lip of course, this isn't a Nissan). Of course, I'm slightly nervous to start tweaking the beemer due to the fact that the last two cars I modified ended up in the salvage yard. Keep your fingers crossed that Heikki doesn't get flipped or run into an ambulance, until 2 years from now when he has to return to the big BMW dealer in the sky.

Friday, 29 May 2009

The Black Has Fallen Flat

I'll never forget the day I saw my first matte black painted car...I take that back. I have forgotten, in fact, I can't remember if it was an SLR or a Phantom. Although my memory fails me as to when I first was graced with the presence of the matte, I do remember my reaction. I'll admit it, I was slightly impressed. It made the SLR look like the Bat mobile and the Phantom looked like it was literally going to eat me alive. If I had a 3-ton Rolls, I too would want it to look like a bad motha- shut yo' mouth. However, the streets of Los Angeles were soon flooded with a mess of matte black machines. Suddenly the "whoah, that looks hot!" turned into "Oh my god, is that a matte black Jetta?". Perhaps this matte run-a-muck is due to the latest invention of not having to fully commit to the look. Companies are now offering full car wraps that give the same look as the primer-ific paint job, so even your leased ride can get mattified. For around $3,000 you can wrap your F150 to look like the F430 rolling down Sunset next to you. Just don't open your doors, otherwise the factory paint you're too cool to rock might show it's true colors. These car wraps claim to go on smooth and come off with the same finesse, just be sure to invest in a good detail before you return your once glossy ride. We hear that inspection companies aren't too fond of glue residue. Sadly, gone are the days of your Bentley GT standing out from the other 20 that are parked in front of Cecconi's, because the bust boy's Civic looks just like it.

"Oh the Vanity!"

Living in Los Angeles is like being invited to a buffet after you've already had a steak dinner. It's too much, it's too crowded, the people are crazy and it makes you sick to your stomach, yet you just can't walk away. For me, I just can't believe that I was blessed with two amazing "vanity" plates in the course of a few hours.
Picture 1: The thought of needles filled with botulism being shoved into my face...I'll pass. The thought of plastering my love for such debauchery on my Chrysler 300...perhaps I will move to Kansas.
Picture 2: When I drive down Wilshire Boulevard by Rodeo Drive I'm usually 2 inches away from rear-ending the Bentley in front of me while I attempt to scope out the newest window pornography at Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue and Barneys. For once, the couture in the window wasn't my distraction, it was the NSX in front of me with this plate which seemed perfectly suited to Kenny Power's lifted Bronco.

Back to the Beginning

Note to owners of $100,000+ cars everywhere: This is not your 1998 Acura Integra.That was the last time white wheels were acceptable. Please do not make Mr. Daimler roll in his grave anymore than he already is with all the G55's sitting in the parking lot at your local temple (I'm Jewish, so I can say that- and there goes half my readership). White wheels, white grill, white lower grill inserts...I think my dad was rolling around in this car's predecessor in the early '80's and that's exactly the era it should stay in.

Well, I'm not sure if this is the way I wanted my first post to go...but it's oddly appropriate for a few reasons.
1) I already pulled the religion card.
2) I took this outside of my 1st place of employment, Mercedes-Benz of Beverly Hills.
3) I ran into my Ex about 5 minutes before this was taken (we met at BH Benz).
4) The newest member of my family is peeking his cute little face into the shot on the lower left.